FIREPROOFING YOUR MARRIAGE
Life Group Resource for NLCC—September 28, 2008
Welcome: 1st of the four W’s (10 minutes)
Ø How did you meet your spouse, and what first attracted you to him/her?
Worship: 2nd of the four W’s (20 minutes)
Ø Read the words of David in Psalm 139:1-18 and reflect on how God’s design was intentional about including you. You! The way you were, are and will be! It is the uniqueness of our distinctions that God uses to complete the picture of a husband’s and wife’s relationship.
Ø Sing your favorite songs of praise & thanksgiving that honor God’s sovergnity.
Word: 3rd of the four W’s Gen 1:27; 5:2 and Eph 5:14-33 (45 minutes)
Ø Jokes about the differences between men and women are timeless and nearly infinite in number. They’re told at parties, shared over coffee, and read and forwarded as emails to friends and co-workers. Consider the following joke:
o Men are just happier people because…
§ Your last name stays put
§ Wedding dress: $2000 vs. Tux rental of $100
§ Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
§ Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
§ You can do your nails with a pocket knife
We laugh over the jokes and teasing stories, but how true are they? Are men and women really that different? One online survey asked people what they thought of the differences. See how you would answer the actual survey question—“Indicate your level of agreement with this statement: “Men and women are SO DIFFERENT:” 1) Yes, worlds apart, 2) Not really, it’s all hype, and 3) I’m never sure. Does this surprise you? Why or why not?
Ø In the actual poll results, 70% picked, “Yes, worlds apart,” 18% chose, “Not really, it’s all hype,” and 12% selected, “I’m never sure.” How closely do these results relate to you, your group and the world in which you live?
Ø There is no unisex brain. Girls arrive already wired as girls, and boys arrive already wired as boys. Their brains are different by the time their born” (Dr. Louann Brizendine, UCSF Medical School). In the texts above, God makes it clear that he deliberately made men and women to be different. What are the benefits of his grand design?
Ø In the “Fireproof Rules to Engagement” it is imperative for you to resist the urge to “point fingers” at one another. Instead, focus on you—become more like Christ! Fireproofing your marriage stops and starts with YOU. On the scale below, mark how frequently you use the words that “build up” or support your spouse/others.
Very Infrequently Neutral Frequently Very Infrequently Frequently
Ø When we struggle in our marriage, we often find ourselves blaming one another for our negative experience. Remember, that the behavior you can most effectively change is your own. Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s/sister’s eye and pay no attention to the plank I your own eye” (Lk. 6:41)? What can you begin to do that will diffuse the anger, ease the conflict and enable you to focus on your personal flaws?
Ø Men want to feel respected and women desire to feel loved and appreciated. Focus on the ways your spouse share that he feels respected/she feels loved and appreciated. Commit to implementing one of these this week in a practical way.
Witness: 4th of the four W’s (15 Minutes)