FIREPROOFING YOUR MARRIAGE

 Life Group Resource for NLCC—October 12, 2008

Welcome: 1^st of the four W’s                                                                                     (10 minutes)

Ø  If you were asked to identify the top three reasons for divorce, what would your life experience lead you to list as the top three causes: 1) ____________2 ____________3) ____________?

Worship: 2^nd of the four W’s                                                                                       (20 minutes)

Ø  Sing your favorite songs of praise & thanksgiving that declare God’s love for you.

Word: 3^rd of the four W’s    Love for a Lifetime--Matthew 19:3-6          (45 minutes)

ALL MARRIAGES GO THROUGH SEASONS. Nobody gets a cakewalk. That’s just not how life works. Like the rotation of the earth, they move through stages that are predictable. Most experts agree that there are four of them, one following the next: 1) Romance, 2) Reality, 3) Resentment, and 4) Rebuilding. In what stage do you see your relationship?

Ø  To play the marriage game during the season of rebuilding, both members of the marriage must practice three great skills. The #3 great skills of lifetime lovers are: Remembering, 2) Asking, and 3) Deciding. In the following three descriptions of the #3 great skills of lifetime lovers discuss how you are different. How you can willingly & intentionally ask & practice forgiveness. Then discuss the importance and the fruit that can only come from a relationship committed to keep on loving.

o   Remember, one of the critical skills in rebuilding a marriage, is “remembering that we’re different and adapting accordingly”.

o   Another critical skill in rebuilding a marriage or even a long-term friendship is “asking and being both willingly and intentional about asking and practicing forgiveness.”

o   A third skill, and maybe the most important one for lifetime love, is “deciding to love and keep on loving.”

Ø  There are four communication areas in which men and women have trouble communicating with each other; while not always true of men or women, they are generally true and beneficial for you to be aware. Discuss how the following play out in your relationship

o   1) Men talk in generalities; women talk in specifics.

o   2) Men tend to be in touch with their thoughts first & their feelings second (maybe); women tend to be in touch with their feelings first and then their thoughts.

o   3) Women and men have very different ideas on how their evenings should be spent.

o   4) Women and men appreciate sex from different perspectives.

o    

LOVE DARE CHALLENGE: Couples sometime this week renew your vows to each other.

I, _________, take you __________ to be my wife/husband. To have and to hold from this day forward, For better, for worse, For richer, for poorer, In sickness and in health. To love and cherish as long as we both shall live. I promise this to you will all my heart. _____________, you are my love.

After renewing your vows together, spend a few minutes praying together about your marriage.

SINGLES: Pick out a skill to work on: 1) affirming differences in members of the opposite sex,

2) forgiving, and 3)deciding to love & keep on loving a close friend.

Witness: 4^th of the four W’s                                                                                         (15 Minutes)

• Pray for the families/relationships in your circles of influence that are in need of healing, including your own.
• Pray for the “Empty Chair,” these are those that God is calling to be a part of His church!